Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I Plead The Fifth



In my defense, I only typed my blog name into an online wanted poster generator.

Those who know me well understand that while I might do a number of things to a brawny hillbilly ... and in all my years I have occasionally dabbled in those smoky hills ... slaughtering them wretchedly would probably not be one of them.

Dirty Bird

Okay, people. What is happening to this world when my blog only scores a PG rating?

See? Here it is all official like:

It hurts when people don't get the depths of depravity to which I clearly stoop on a regular basis in this forum.

Oh, sure. You can drop the f-bomb and score an NC-17 in mere moments. Any old hack can do that. But I want procreating Republicans everywhere to stay up at nights worrying that their children might happen across this filth.

And it's hardly going to happen when I'm less threatening than Shrek the Third.

So be warned, you sonsabitches. I might start working "blue" any second now. And you only have your prurient interests to thank for it.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

My Lips Are Sealed

So the siren song of the gays dashes another prominent Republican's future on the treacherous rocks of sodomy.

Glenn Murphy, Jr., the 33-year-old Indianan who was elected chairman of the Young Republican National Federation in July, resigned his post on Friday ... only a month after taking office ... saying that a "life-altering" business opportunity had come up that he couldn't pass on.

Well. That and the fact that he got caught with his mouth wrapped around a sleeping Republican's "trunk," which the sleeping Republican apparently didn't appreciate upon waking and wondering who was at the root of the warm sensation in his nether regions.

I mean seriously, people. Giving hummers to your sleeping bunkmates is so 1982 camping trip.

But it appears to be true (though disputed by Mr. Murphy, who isn't saying it's not true ... but that it was consensual). All the same, you can read the whole story here.

To be honest, I could give a damn about Mr. Murphy, his position in the Republican party and his propensity (he apparently pulled the same stunt in 1998) for late-night naval maneuvers.

What's funny in light of recent events is a quote of his about his job as chairman:

"I will essentially be the mouthpiece ... for tens of thousands of young Republicans," he said.

You've got to admire the liberal interpretation of his job description. I'm just sayin'. Mr. Murphy was definitely been reading between the lines ... not to mention the sheets.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

My Future Wife

I adore this woman.

And I don't care if my boyfriend knows it.

We hardly even know each other. But she reads this blog. And lets me take pictures of her while she sits in my lap.

So a shout out to you, sister. We were meant for each other.

Even if we want the same thing.

If anyone else wants to read my blog and take pictures while sitting in my lap, I'm game. Just say the word.